Confessions of a “Survivor” Flunky

Get me some crow.  I’m ready to eat it.

I consider myself a pretty tough woman.  So when friends sneered at me as I talked about my plans to go camping all by my lonesome, I took it in stride & whispered internally “I’ll show you”.   I know how to commune with nature…heck, I’ve gone a whole weekend without hair gel & make-up, how hard can this camping thing be?  Have tent, will camp, right?  But after 3 days of roughing it I was prepared to rescind my indignation at being mocked and I willingly admit defeat.   So what was it that finally did me in?  Pick your poison…the ground was too hard, too rocky, too wet from the rains; the sleeping bag was not warm enough; the spiders crawling on my face in the dark creeped me out.  No, I’ll tell you what it was.  Stanley.  That’s what I named the massive creature I encountered outside my tent just as dark was setting in last night.  I heard the noise of something stirring outside and poked my head out to face this beast.  It was almost too dark out to snap a decent photo.  Nonetheless, I found my camera phone & shot a pic off to my favorite big game hunter with the inquiry, “WHAT IS IT & do I need to be afraid?”  Fully expecting his reply to be “Breakfast”, I waited patiently for the response.  I later learned that Stanley is an elk and probably harmless if I leave him alone.  But the news came too late.  Fear, once it is activated in a person, is difficult to assuage.  Even my weapon of choice brought little comfort.  Yes, it’s true, I was “packin”.  Still, the damage was done.

 I found a charming cottage at Dripping Springs Inn and dubbed it my new retreat.  It felt like heaven to wash off 2 layers of topsoil from my flesh & to shampoo my hair with something other than a can of Coors.  My apologies to Wet Wipes but they will never be a suitable replacement for 10 solid minutes of hot steaming water pouring out of a showerhead. After burning my smelly clothes…I’m KIDDING….and a nice long soak in the hot tub out on my back deck, I tucked myself into a four poster log bed with lots of pillows and quilts.  I left the back door ajar just enough to hear the river a few yards away singing to me.  Strangely though, the lyrics ringing in my head were those to “I Enjoy Being a Girl!”  Clearly, I was more than ready to reclaim my femininity.  Despite this I am irked that it was a fear issue that drove me to it.


What is it about things that go “bump in the night” that set us on edge?  I HATE being afraid, don’t you? I try so hard to come across like I’m tough & can manage on my own.  But it’s simply not true…I need someone who’s got my back.  Fortunately for me, that someone is Jesus. This journey of faith is trying at times…the enemy throws things into our camp to frighten us.  Beasts like loneliness, temptations, health problems, financial burdens assail our confidence.  Hideous creatures such as sin, fear, and death rear their ugly heads and shake us to the core.  Even when we are armed with the weapons of spiritual warfare, it is easy to fall prey to an insidious giant appearing the size of Long’s Peak in our camp.


So what are we to do? On a drive through Rocky Mountain National Park today, listening to a friend’s CD these lyrics jumped out at me… “Anybody gonna move this mountain? Anybody gonna change this scene?…”  One look at the gargantuan Rocky Mountains all around me, I was so stunned at the imagery of God’s Word being revealed in my heart, I had to pull the car over.  Jesus told us what it takes to move the mountains in our lives.  “If you have faith as a grain of a mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain ‘move from here to over there’ and it shall be removed.  Nothing shall be impossible to you.”  Matthew 7:20


Obviously, it is not “more faith” that we need in times of trial or testing.  The point that Jesus is making is that we need only a tiny bit of faith in a Great & Mighty God.  Take a look at these pictures from my hikes of the past several days and meditate on what Christ was saying…Nothing shall be impossible.  Ask yourself, “What are the mountains in my life that need to be moved?”  Once you’ve identified your mountains, in faith tell them where to go…


Oh yeah, as for the crow?  I’ll take mine with a little ketchup, please. 






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DiAnna Steele

Child of God, Follower of Jesus, Sister in Christ, Friend to the lost...

3 thoughts on “Confessions of a “Survivor” Flunky”

  1. Even real men get scared of the dark, of the unknown, from time to time. Jesus feared what was about to unfold the night before His crucifixion as He cried out to His Father. You are one tough cookie and your writing is so eloquent and beautiful, full of visual effects!

  2. @ Russ…Thank You for that reminder of Christ in the Garden, now THERE’s a beautiful visual!

  3. Like Stanley.
    Solo camping – sorting out what we need and who we are.
    A good, CR123 powered flashlight – properly deployed – is always handy. Hard to solve what you cannot see.
    Relaxing after always feels like a celebration of what we often take for granted.

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