Late Sunday Evening…

“Late Sunday evening when the disciples were together behind locked doors for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them. ‘Peace be with you,’ he said, and then he showed them his hands and his side.  So when the disciples saw the Lord, they were filled with joy. Jesus repeated, ‘Peace be with you…'”    John 20:19-20

Christ had been crucified like a common criminal.  He died and with Him died the courage of His followers.  His body buried in a cave.  Similarly, 10 of the remaining 11 disciples caved themselves behind locked doors.  They buried themselves, hiding in fear of what Jewish leaders would do  to them next.  Terror was palpable.

For three years Jesus walked with them, led them, taught them, inspired them.  His Presence had been their courage, their protection, their peace.  Now all of that was gone, vaporized with Christ’s last breath at Calvary.  Despite Mary’s proclamation earlier that day, “I have seen the Lord!”, there was no celebration among these men.  Only shaking in their sandals.  For all Jesus taught them and revealed to them… parables, sermons, signs, wonders, miracles, fulfillment of Old Testament Scriptures…it came down to this.  A backroom gathering of fearful, forgetful followers.

John 20:19 says, “Jesus came and stood among them…” I wonder, in their desperation for solutions, did they notice Him at first? Or were they too busy fretting over their circumstances? Were they reliving in heated conversation Christ’s arrest leading to his death?  Did they argue over who was to blame?  “John, you should have stayed awake with Him in the garden.”  “Peter, you ought not have lost your temper with the soldier.”

How long did Jesus stand in their midst before He cleared His throat and spoke?  “Peace be with you.”  Was it a shout? A whisper?   Perhaps a simple observation that peace found its way into the room the moment His Presence entered.

Peace.  The first thing Jesus spoke to His disciples was the very thing they needed most.  Fear that gripped them melted away as they beheld Christ’s hands and side.  The frightened group witnessed the Presence of Jesus and the Bible says, “…they were filled with JOY.”

How many instances in my life have I behaved like the disciples in hiding? Locked up with my emotions and fears.   Fretting over my personal
circumstances.  Playing my situation over and over in my head.   Feeling apprehensive and uncertain about my future. Wondering, “Where is God now?”

As if He knew the message bore repeating to distracted hearts like Peter’s, and
John’s…and mine…Jesus said a second time, “Peace be with you.”

Today as waves of my circumstances crash against shorelines of my existence I hear His voice.  “Peace.”  My deepest need is met in the presence of my resurrected Lord as He stands between me and the unknown.   It is this Peace of His Presence which leads me to JOY.

Somebody’s Praying

I’m sitting in ICU watching my mom sleep soundly for the first time in days.  With her WBC still at 0.0, we are in a critical time with this cancer battle.  The last 48 hours have tested my faith like nothing I’ve ever experienced before, especially last night as mom’s decline worsened hourly.  I wish I could tell you that I was strong through it all but I wasn’t…watching a loved one close to the brink of eternity shakes me to the core especially when that loved one has been for me the person I’ve leaned on more than anyone else throughout my entire life. 

Glancing up at a monitor, I read beautiful numbers 100/54 and 98, up from last night when they were 67/33 and 52.  Who knew readings for blood pressure and heart rate could make time seem to stand still?  In what I consider the most painful night I’ve ever endured, helpless to change abhorrent side effects of chemo treatments for multiple myeloma wreaking havoc on my dear mother, I cried out to God and reached out to friends through quick texts, pleading for prayer.  At all kinds of unholy hours, you relinquished sleep to intercede for us and replies poured in…

 “the Lord your God is with YOU, Di…He is with your mother as well…He is mighty to save”

“His love is unshakable, though the mountains be moved to the sea, His love cannot fail…”

“PRAYING!!!”

“Even as much as I love you, God loves you infinitely more. Trust Him.”

“Nothing is out of His control. Use the wisdom and discernment He gives you minute by minute and trust Him for the rest.”

“Thou will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee.”

“You have the mind of Christ. His power is made perfect in weakness. Clothe yourself in Him now and stay there.  There are angels ministering to you and your mom.”

“Do not fear for I am with you. Do not anxiously look about for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you by My Righteous Right Hand.”

If “faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God”, then surely God was speaking through His precious saints last night & today to strengthen my faith.   His Word and your prayers {and someone willing to take my frantic call at 3:40 a.m.} carried me through 40 hours with only 90 minutes of sleep.  We feel your love, support & prayers.  We are profoundly grateful.

 

Seeking God in Storms

In an excruciatingly painful season for Jesus, He desperately needed time to Himself, space to grieve.
 
Reading in Matthew 14…Jesus sought to seclude Himself on a boat immediately following the murder of His dear friend & cousin John the Baptist.  His efforts thwarted by crowds from nearby towns, thousands with needs & expectations swarmed the shore crying out to Him.  Despite His own personal agony Christ’s compassionate heart compelled Him to spend the day teaching, healing and serving the masses.  By nightfall, He and the disciples gathered up 12 baskets of leftovers from feeding thousands.  The day expended, the disciples departed at His request and Jesus finally seized time alone to pray. 
 
Can you picture this?  Jesus, completely exhausted after a lengthy day of meeting others’ needs, withdrew to a hillside for time alone with God.  Far into the night He sat at the feet of Abba, poured out His heart, pressed in to hear from the Father, drank from the cup of God’s hand, laid back against Him to rest, listened to God’s heartbeat.  He tarried there for hours drawing strength, renewing His peace. Matthew 14:25 indicates between 3-6 a.m. Jesus returned to His disciples and found them in a boat battling strong winds and choppy waves.  In the midst of a horrendous squall Christ calmly walked across the water. 
 
The Lord’s day began with an emotional whirlwind of His loved one’s death and ended with a fitful tempest at sea.  Yet between the two storms, Christ intentionally accessed all He needed to not only endure but to bless others.  He pushed the pause button on His life’s demands to seek Jehovah Shalom…the God of Peace…and because of this He walked in confidence, in strength and in complete peace even in the midst of atrocious upheaval. 
 
The storms of life are torrential at times.  Loved ones battle cancer, finances dwindle due to lengthy unemployment, children rebel, spouses betray, depression demolishes the will to go on, sickness and pain ravage bodies, violence devastates women & children, drunken drivers end innocent lives, soldiers come home missing limbs or in body bags.  Storms rage all around us.  In those moments of utter despair when we feel we can’t go another step, God whispers to us,
 
“Come away with me to a quiet place and rest awhile.” Mark 6:31
 

Even in His own time of profound sorrow Jesus was aware of the suffering of others around Him.  He showed great compassion for them, serving them not out of duty but from the recesses of His heart.  After meeting the demands pressing in from every direction He renewed His strength by stealing away to a quiet place to rest a while in the arms of the Father.  His was not a passive few moments of small talk with God but a prolonged outpouring of His heart and an expectation that He would hear from God and be renewed.  Rather than becoming overwhelmed by His circumstances, Christ was overwhelmed by the love God lavished on Him in those moments of seeking.
 
In my quest to become more like Christ, I pray I’m mindful that time to care for others is a gift.  I pray for compassion to serve them from the depths of my heart even as I am grieving my own painful circumstances.  Matthew 14 reminds me the key is intentionally spending soul-satisfying time alone with my Father, to cast all my cares on Him, listen expectantly for His voice and drink from the cup of His hand just as Jesus did, overwhelmed by His love, bathed in grace and peace.  In seeking Him I am able to stand even in the midst of the most harrowing storms.

 “And you shall find me when you search for me with all your heart…”  Jeremiah 29:13