I’m sitting in ICU watching my mom sleep soundly for the first time in days. With her WBC still at 0.0, we are in a critical time with this cancer battle. The last 48 hours have tested my faith like nothing I’ve ever experienced before, especially last night as mom’s decline worsened hourly. I wish I could tell you that I was strong through it all but I wasn’t…watching a loved one close to the brink of eternity shakes me to the core especially when that loved one has been for me the person I’ve leaned on more than anyone else throughout my entire life.
Glancing up at a monitor, I read beautiful numbers 100/54 and 98, up from last night when they were 67/33 and 52. Who knew readings for blood pressure and heart rate could make time seem to stand still? In what I consider the most painful night I’ve ever endured, helpless to change abhorrent side effects of chemo treatments for multiple myeloma wreaking havoc on my dear mother, I cried out to God and reached out to friends through quick texts, pleading for prayer. At all kinds of unholy hours, you relinquished sleep to intercede for us and replies poured in…
“the Lord your God is with YOU, Di…He is with your mother as well…He is mighty to save”
“His love is unshakable, though the mountains be moved to the sea, His love cannot fail…”
“PRAYING!!!”
“Even as much as I love you, God loves you infinitely more. Trust Him.”
“Nothing is out of His control. Use the wisdom and discernment He gives you minute by minute and trust Him for the rest.”
“Thou will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee.”
“You have the mind of Christ. His power is made perfect in weakness. Clothe yourself in Him now and stay there. There are angels ministering to you and your mom.”
“Do not fear for I am with you. Do not anxiously look about for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you by My Righteous Right Hand.”
If “faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God”, then surely God was speaking through His precious saints last night & today to strengthen my faith. His Word and your prayers {and someone willing to take my frantic call at 3:40 a.m.} carried me through 40 hours with only 90 minutes of sleep. We feel your love, support & prayers. We are profoundly grateful.
Livin4Jesus 