Tag: Jesus

Standing at the Tomb: A Lesson in Grieving & Joy

I’ve spent the past several days camped out with Jesus and Lazarus, Martha and Mary…{John 11: 1-44}

 

Much as Mary & Martha were, I am grieving a loss.  Mine is not a death of a physical person but process of dying to self and the burial of my idols.   I know Jesus is here with me in the grieving process just as He was with them.  One of the decisions I’m having to make is will I grieve as Martha did or will I choose to be more like Mary?

 

Jesus loved Lazarus deeply, yet when He received the news of his friend’s death He waited rather than go to the grave promptly.  It is a mystery to anyone who seeks immediate comfort in times of trouble.  How could Jesus not care enough to drop everything and go?  If we take a closer look we see that it was because of His abiding love, not in spite of it, that Jesus tarried.  His love beckons us to embrace the losses in our lives…whatever they may be…and to fully engage in the grieving process, a process of cleansing that brings freedom.  “He that soweth in tears shall reap in joy” {Psm 126:5} To try to escape the tears is to miss the joy.   “In His favor is Life: weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning”.  {Psm 30:5}

 

As if viewing a video in my mind, I watched Jesus approach the town of Bethany where the scene takes place.  Martha hears that He is near and she goes running out to meet Him.  And the first thing she does is get in His face…”Where were you, Jesus?”  I can almost hear the anger in her demanding tone… “If you had been here he wouldn’t have died and now it’s been 4 days! Don’t you care?”  Even so, Jesus didn’t return her anger.  Instead He spoke words of authority… “I am the Resurrection and the Life…he who believes though he dies, yet shall he live.” and then he asked her a question, “Do you believe?”  Martha says she believes and yet later in the story at the tomb when Jesus instructs that the stone be moved, we witness Martha’s doubting again. Um Lord, it’s been 4 days, the stench is going to be horrific…is this really a good idea? Again Jesus meets her questioning with authority & repeats himself… “Do you remember what I said about having faith…?”  The implication for Martha…and you & I…is do you believe or don’t you? 

 

Now rewind the film to the place where Mary approaches Jesus and you’ll get a totally different picture.  Mary didn’t even go to Jesus until her sister told her “he’s asking for you.”  She waited in the house in silence until she was called.  As soon as she caught sight of Jesus she fell at his feet.  And though she asked the identical question, hers was a broken whisper… “Where were you?”  Can you envision Christ reaching down to Mary, lifting her up, wiping her tears?  He doesn’t question Mary’s faith.  He doesn’t need to remind Mary of who He is…she knows already.  Quietly He enters into her pain.  “Where is Lazarus?” he asks, and as they walk along the way He holds her up.  They approach the tomb and Jesus begins to cry with Mary.  There is a deep spiritual intimacy between Jesus and Mary.  She trusts Him even in her pain and He deals gently with her.  Rather than re-teach the lessons from the past, He simply and quietly weeps with her, sharing her grief, engaging the sorrow.  He knew that a resurrection was about to happen yet still he paused to meet the need of the moment.  Rather than rush Mary’s grief, He embraced it with her.  Jesus afforded a time to be quiet and mourn. Then he got LOUD and deliberate as He denounced the enemy—Death.  He commanded the dead to come forth and a resurrection took place.

 

In my own story there is a resurrection to come.  Jesus says so & I believe it. It’s been written into my script long before I existed.  But for now I am standing in front of the tomb.  It is a place of grieving and letting go.  There are things I buried at the back of the tomb that stink and it will not be pleasant to roll back the stone exposing the corpse of desires, thoughts & behaviors.  But Christ assures me that those things are not my life…HE IS MY LIFE.  I no longer need the burial clothes.  What’s fascinating to me is that Jesus doesn’t go to Lazarus and begin to pull away the burial clothes.  Instead He commands the sisters to help Lazarus remove them.  Jesus was there to bring LIFE but it was up to Lazarus to relinquish the clothing of death.  Even so, Christ did not expect him to do it on his own.  Jesus instructed the family to come to the aid of Lazarus.  They supported him in the cleansing process.  They helped him as he shed the smelly garments.  And they ultimately rejoiced with him that he was more alive than he had ever been.

 

Jesus wants no less for me.  He has come to give me Life.  He stands with me at the tomb of my idols…those things I once looked to for security, pleasure, life.  He is willing to bear the stench with me in order to clean out those things once & for all.  And he gives me the family of faith to support me in the journey away from the grave and toward Life.

 

 

Jesus said “ I am the resurrection and the Life; he that believeth in me though he were dead, yet shall he live.  And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.  Do You Believe?” John 11:25-26

Confessions of a “Survivor” Flunky

Get me some crow.  I’m ready to eat it.

I consider myself a pretty tough woman.  So when friends sneered at me as I talked about my plans to go camping all by my lonesome, I took it in stride & whispered internally “I’ll show you”.   I know how to commune with nature…heck, I’ve gone a whole weekend without hair gel & make-up, how hard can this camping thing be?  Have tent, will camp, right?  But after 3 days of roughing it I was prepared to rescind my indignation at being mocked and I willingly admit defeat.   So what was it that finally did me in?  Pick your poison…the ground was too hard, too rocky, too wet from the rains; the sleeping bag was not warm enough; the spiders crawling on my face in the dark creeped me out.  No, I’ll tell you what it was.  Stanley.  That’s what I named the massive creature I encountered outside my tent just as dark was setting in last night.  I heard the noise of something stirring outside and poked my head out to face this beast.  It was almost too dark out to snap a decent photo.  Nonetheless, I found my camera phone & shot a pic off to my favorite big game hunter with the inquiry, “WHAT IS IT & do I need to be afraid?”  Fully expecting his reply to be “Breakfast”, I waited patiently for the response.  I later learned that Stanley is an elk and probably harmless if I leave him alone.  But the news came too late.  Fear, once it is activated in a person, is difficult to assuage.  Even my weapon of choice brought little comfort.  Yes, it’s true, I was “packin”.  Still, the damage was done.

 I found a charming cottage at Dripping Springs Inn and dubbed it my new retreat.  It felt like heaven to wash off 2 layers of topsoil from my flesh & to shampoo my hair with something other than a can of Coors.  My apologies to Wet Wipes but they will never be a suitable replacement for 10 solid minutes of hot steaming water pouring out of a showerhead. After burning my smelly clothes…I’m KIDDING….and a nice long soak in the hot tub out on my back deck, I tucked myself into a four poster log bed with lots of pillows and quilts.  I left the back door ajar just enough to hear the river a few yards away singing to me.  Strangely though, the lyrics ringing in my head were those to “I Enjoy Being a Girl!”  Clearly, I was more than ready to reclaim my femininity.  Despite this I am irked that it was a fear issue that drove me to it.

 

What is it about things that go “bump in the night” that set us on edge?  I HATE being afraid, don’t you? I try so hard to come across like I’m tough & can manage on my own.  But it’s simply not true…I need someone who’s got my back.  Fortunately for me, that someone is Jesus. This journey of faith is trying at times…the enemy throws things into our camp to frighten us.  Beasts like loneliness, temptations, health problems, financial burdens assail our confidence.  Hideous creatures such as sin, fear, and death rear their ugly heads and shake us to the core.  Even when we are armed with the weapons of spiritual warfare, it is easy to fall prey to an insidious giant appearing the size of Long’s Peak in our camp.

 

So what are we to do? On a drive through Rocky Mountain National Park today, listening to a friend’s CD these lyrics jumped out at me… “Anybody gonna move this mountain? Anybody gonna change this scene?…”  One look at the gargantuan Rocky Mountains all around me, I was so stunned at the imagery of God’s Word being revealed in my heart, I had to pull the car over.  Jesus told us what it takes to move the mountains in our lives.  “If you have faith as a grain of a mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain ‘move from here to over there’ and it shall be removed.  Nothing shall be impossible to you.”  Matthew 7:20

 

Obviously, it is not “more faith” that we need in times of trial or testing.  The point that Jesus is making is that we need only a tiny bit of faith in a Great & Mighty God.  Take a look at these pictures from my hikes of the past several days and meditate on what Christ was saying…Nothing shall be impossible.  Ask yourself, “What are the mountains in my life that need to be moved?”  Once you’ve identified your mountains, in faith tell them where to go…

 

Oh yeah, as for the crow?  I’ll take mine with a little ketchup, please. 

 

                      

         

                                                                                                                                   

Now That’s OLD! {some notes on my birthday…}

 

{Originally written June 10, 2008}

Some who know me well have accused me of planning this trip to China to coincide with my birthday because I wanted to avoid the surprise birthday party replete with black balloons and a cake bearing the words “old Fart” inscribed in frosting.  Others who are familiar with my attraction for men “short, dark & Asian” have claimed I’ve come to China simply because I am tired of being single…the ratio of men to women is an amazing 30:1.  I take umbrage at both accusations.  Though I do so grinning…30 to 1?  Really?  Hmm.

 

I didn’t tell my friends here that today was my birthday because I wanted it to myself…to reflect & pray & celebrate all the goodness that the Lord has lavished on me over the years.  Also, as a guest in their home, I didn’t want my friends to feel they had to make a fuss.  All that went out the window when Matt called from Colorado and left the message with my host, “Tell her I called…I wouldn’t want mom to think I missed her birthday.”  Secretly, Song immediately launched into conquering a birthday cake and Sarah busied the boys with making cards for me.  No one let on all day that they knew.

 

The day began with an unusual “quiet time”…Bible reading in Isaiah while construction roared all around us & horns blared in traffic.  One glance to the streets 15 stories below where  6 rows of cars straddling 4 lanes reminded me that lanes are merely a suggestion here, not a mandate.  God’s word urged me to “cease to dwell on days gone by & to brood over past history” & he continued “here & now I will do a new thing, this moment it will break from the bud.  Can you not perceive it?” {Isaiah 43:18-19}. “My witnesses are you, my servants, you whom I have chosen, to know me & put your faith in me and to understand that I am he.” {43:10}  I received again the commission in Isaiah 58:3-12…my purpose for living though I felt I was reading it with fresh eyes, embracing it as if for the first time. 

 

The bulk of the day was spent in Tongli, an ancient city on canals…with 15 rivers, 5 lakes, & 49 bridges joining 7 islands, this awe-inspiring town has often been called the “Venice of Asia”.  Depending on which brochure you read, the city’s ancestry dates between 4,000-6,000 years back.  Regardless, Tongli is OLD.  I smiled as I pondered God’s sense of humor… turning “39 again” pales in comparison to this place!  We enjoyed strolling throughout the narrow streets, thankful that the rain had driven away most of the tourists and the place was quiet, peaceful, almost deserted.  Though no one here speaks the slightest English the locals gave friendly smiles & calculators served to interpret prices, each of us fussing in our own language “too much”, “not enough”.  Ultimately they were happy to bargain with one of the few customers they would see all day.  We delighted in a boat ride meandering through the canals and played dress up in Emperor & Empress style attire at one of the gardens.  Later, in a huge air bubble on one of the rivers, it didn’t take me long to decide to simply float & leave the “walking on water” to Jesus!

 

With plans to meet Sarah & Song for dinner, we returned to Suzhou.  Three year old Dillon could hardly wait for me to get cleaned up before he came to my room, took my hand & directed me, “close your eyes”, led me to the dining room where a small host of friends & my younger son Zech shouted “surprise” & burst into a chorus of “Happy Birthday to You”.  The cake beckoned us to eat dessert first before we left for dinner.  It was touching and a sweet time.

 

The evening culminated in Chinese theatre at Master of Nets…an interesting experience in that we moved from room to room in an ancient Chinese home to enjoy 7 different cultural performances including opera, drama, and several different types of instruments being performed by locals robed in traditional Chinese ancestral attire.

 

After everyone else had gone to bed Sarah & I sat up sharing our hearts and praying together ‘til after 1 a.m.  A burden for the lost people of China washed over me as we poured out ourselves to the Lord for unsaved friends.  I finished this very long day prompted once again to read in Isaiah…

 

“My people shall live long life as a tree, and my chosen shall enjoy the fruit of their labor.  They shall not toil in vain or raise children for misfortune,” {65:22}… “no longer will you be deserted…I will make you an eternal pride & a never-ending JOY” {60:15}  “Let me rejoice with all my heart, let me exult in my God, for he has robed me in salvation as a garment & clothed me in integrity as a cloak” {61:10}… “The spirit of the Lord is upon me because the Lord has anointed me;  He has sent me to bring good news to the humble, to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and release to those in prison” {61:1}…  

 

God is up to something…I feel it in my spirit.  To say that this was my best birthday ever would be an understatement.