Old What’s Her Name

Have you ever felt stuck? 

You have a sense that God is calling you to move forward…physically, vocationally, emotionally, relationally, spiritually…yet something is holding you back.  You know there is a life ahead of you requiring you to embrace change…do something different, go somewhere new…but you are reluctant.  Maybe you’re more than reluctant; maybe you’re flat out defiant.  Your life as it exists now is less than ideal but at least it’s predictable.  There’s something comfortable in predictability.  To have to give up something, maybe everything that is familiar makes you uneasy.

Do you have faith to trust God for change?  Or do you drag your feet?  Maybe it’s fear that’s holding you back, or perhaps a lack of clarity about where you are headed.  You tell yourself there’s no harm in waiting a little longer…when God makes it obvious to me WHY He wants me to move or WHERE He’s taking me, then I’ll go.

But what if tarrying comes with a price tag?  What if it disobedience to God’s call to move forward…even to a place unknown…costs you everything?

Do you remember Lot’s wife’s name?  NO?  Neither does anybody else. She was so insignificant that the Bible writer doesn’t bother to call her by name.  In Genesis 19:16 & 26 she is referred to simply as “Lot’s wife”. I’ve dubbed her “Old what’s-her-name”.  Not only do we not know her name, we don’t know much about her at all. She was a wife, a mother.  And when God asked something difficult of her, when she faced His call to move on with her life, her longing for the security of sameness destroyed her.

God said, It’s time to move. Your family depends on it. Your life depends on it. DO NOT LOOK BACK. Just MOVE!   Old-what’s-her-name was not a woman given to immediate obedience.  Can you imagine the fit she threw before she finally got on the road with her family… WHY ME?  WHY NOW?   I don’t want to move.  Where are you taking me?  What if I don’t like it there? Why is this happening to me?  Can’t this WAIT? I’m not ready to let go!!  By the time she set out, begrudgingly following her husband I would imagine that she had worked herself into quite a tizzy.

Picture it: they’re finally fleeing Sodom as God had commanded. With no time to pack, Old-what’s-her-name has left everything behind.  We know how women are. Our home is our sanctuary. Our stuff defines us. Our friends affirm our value.  We yearn for that house and neighborhood where we hang our hearts. We desire our old friends.  We crave our creature comforts. We languish for the security of familiarity.  “Old what’s-her-name” was no different. She longed for her home, the things she was leaving behind. She hated the thought of starting over!!  Having previously been an Army wife through multiple moves, I can certainly relate.

But in her pain &/or rebellion, Old-what’s-her-name made two major blunders: first, she tarried behind her husband.  She refused to walk beside him on the journey.  She hung back, probably whining, dragging her feet, and slowing down everyone else in the family as they were sent racing out of Sodom. Second, she turned around. I read a Biblical scholar who described her turning not as a glance over her shoulder but as a physical stop and turn around. She not only stopped moving forward, she turned to go back the other direction!  The result was that she was left standing there dead in her tracks-literally! 

It’s no secret God created women with a high need for security and sameness.  But men can be equally guilty when it comes to a reluctance to relinquish the things of the past and move forward.  Our Creator understands our longings and desires–He’s the one who gave them to us in the first place! He knows YOUR longings just as He knew Old-what’s-her-name’s.  Still, He gave her a journey and her journey had a purpose {to save her life}. Likewise, He has given you a journey and your journey also serves a purpose. Though it may remain unclear to you exactly what that purpose is you can be sure that God has only your GOOD in mind. God doesn’t want you to be destroyed in this process of change & uncertainty. He wants to stretch you, to grow you and ultimately to bless you & bless others through you.  In order for that to be accomplished, you cannot make the mistakes of Old-what’s-her-name.  You must not tarry and you must not look back.

In Luke 17: 32 Jesus warned about such self absorption when He said, “Remember Lot’s wife.”  {Gees, even Jesus didn’t give us her name!} I believe He wants us to remember Old-what’s-her-name not because she was anything special but because she is a classic example of how devastating it can be to live life with one foot in the future and one foot in the past.  We must trust the Lord’s plan & purpose for the future rather than trying to hold on the things of our past, including our very life as we have come to know it. Jesus was clear… “Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it.”  {Luke 17:33}

Contrast Old-what’s-her-name with Abraham in Genesis 12:1.  God told Abraham “Leave your country, your kinsmen, and your father’s house, and go to a country that I will show you.”  Did you get that?  Abraham had no idea where God was taking Him!  Yet in Genesis 12:4 we read,  “And so Abraham set out as the Lord had bid him…”  With no clue where he was going Abraham put one foot in front of the other and moved in faith. Only through obedience to what God had already instructed Abraham to do was he able to learn where God was taking him.

The choice is ours…either move in faith as Abraham did or tarry like Old-what’s-her-name. It’s the choice between experiencing freedom or being rendered permanently stuck.  We needn’t worry that we don’t have all the answers…God is not going to reveal more of His will until there is obedience to what He has already commanded.  But every child of His can be assured He will give just enough light for the step you are on and He will be the Wind that propels you forward when you are feeling stuck.

Confessions of a “Survivor” Flunky

Get me some crow.  I’m ready to eat it.

I consider myself a pretty tough woman.  So when friends sneered at me as I talked about my plans to go camping all by my lonesome, I took it in stride & whispered internally “I’ll show you”.   I know how to commune with nature…heck, I’ve gone a whole weekend without hair gel & make-up, how hard can this camping thing be?  Have tent, will camp, right?  But after 3 days of roughing it I was prepared to rescind my indignation at being mocked and I willingly admit defeat.   So what was it that finally did me in?  Pick your poison…the ground was too hard, too rocky, too wet from the rains; the sleeping bag was not warm enough; the spiders crawling on my face in the dark creeped me out.  No, I’ll tell you what it was.  Stanley.  That’s what I named the massive creature I encountered outside my tent just as dark was setting in last night.  I heard the noise of something stirring outside and poked my head out to face this beast.  It was almost too dark out to snap a decent photo.  Nonetheless, I found my camera phone & shot a pic off to my favorite big game hunter with the inquiry, “WHAT IS IT & do I need to be afraid?”  Fully expecting his reply to be “Breakfast”, I waited patiently for the response.  I later learned that Stanley is an elk and probably harmless if I leave him alone.  But the news came too late.  Fear, once it is activated in a person, is difficult to assuage.  Even my weapon of choice brought little comfort.  Yes, it’s true, I was “packin”.  Still, the damage was done.

 I found a charming cottage at Dripping Springs Inn and dubbed it my new retreat.  It felt like heaven to wash off 2 layers of topsoil from my flesh & to shampoo my hair with something other than a can of Coors.  My apologies to Wet Wipes but they will never be a suitable replacement for 10 solid minutes of hot steaming water pouring out of a showerhead. After burning my smelly clothes…I’m KIDDING….and a nice long soak in the hot tub out on my back deck, I tucked myself into a four poster log bed with lots of pillows and quilts.  I left the back door ajar just enough to hear the river a few yards away singing to me.  Strangely though, the lyrics ringing in my head were those to “I Enjoy Being a Girl!”  Clearly, I was more than ready to reclaim my femininity.  Despite this I am irked that it was a fear issue that drove me to it.

 

What is it about things that go “bump in the night” that set us on edge?  I HATE being afraid, don’t you? I try so hard to come across like I’m tough & can manage on my own.  But it’s simply not true…I need someone who’s got my back.  Fortunately for me, that someone is Jesus. This journey of faith is trying at times…the enemy throws things into our camp to frighten us.  Beasts like loneliness, temptations, health problems, financial burdens assail our confidence.  Hideous creatures such as sin, fear, and death rear their ugly heads and shake us to the core.  Even when we are armed with the weapons of spiritual warfare, it is easy to fall prey to an insidious giant appearing the size of Long’s Peak in our camp.

 

So what are we to do? On a drive through Rocky Mountain National Park today, listening to a friend’s CD these lyrics jumped out at me… “Anybody gonna move this mountain? Anybody gonna change this scene?…”  One look at the gargantuan Rocky Mountains all around me, I was so stunned at the imagery of God’s Word being revealed in my heart, I had to pull the car over.  Jesus told us what it takes to move the mountains in our lives.  “If you have faith as a grain of a mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain ‘move from here to over there’ and it shall be removed.  Nothing shall be impossible to you.”  Matthew 7:20

 

Obviously, it is not “more faith” that we need in times of trial or testing.  The point that Jesus is making is that we need only a tiny bit of faith in a Great & Mighty God.  Take a look at these pictures from my hikes of the past several days and meditate on what Christ was saying…Nothing shall be impossible.  Ask yourself, “What are the mountains in my life that need to be moved?”  Once you’ve identified your mountains, in faith tell them where to go…

 

Oh yeah, as for the crow?  I’ll take mine with a little ketchup, please.