Let the teen years begin…

My baby was 12 when he went to bed tonight…tomorrow he’ll wake up a teenager.  Sitting on my desk is his 7th grade school picture. It’s priceless Zechariah–with a grin that is almost a smirk, like he is about to pop off with a wisecrack that will send me into hysterical laughter.  He does that often.

I wanted tonight to be special, not that we would do something eventful…that comes tomorrow for the birthday.  But special in the sense that we could spend quiet time, just the two of us.  I imagined that we would cook dinner together, work on a little bit of math homework and then hang out like we love to do…reading, writing in his “This is who I am” book, talking & tickling.  Sunday through Thursday nights we have our “bonding time” from 8 til 9ish where it’s “just us”..no phones, tv, video, computer…nothing is allowed to disrupt our time together.  It’s heartwarming to me that this kid still enjoys spending time with me.  Many nights he is the one who comes into my office right at 8:00 and taps his wrist, my sign that he’s come for his undivided attention from mom.   

This last night before “teenhood” was anything but quiet but it was so Zechariah.  We spent the evening in Urgent Care gettting his knee checked out.  Seems he has no idea what happened, pain just “came out of nowhere” after a wild round of B-Ball with some of his friends.  I reminded him that we leave for China in less than 2 weeks and we need him to be WELL for this trip… “don’t make me sit you in a corner for the next 12 days.” 

I had tucked my journal into my bag thinking I might get in some time to write while waiting to see a doctor…when we found ourselves rather quickly in an exam room I whipped out the journal and started thumbing through to find an empty page.  Instead I found an entry I had written about Zech.  “Read it to me,” he requested.  So I read aloud about the weekend last December when we baked for local nursing homes…80 dozen Christmas cookies “Kamakazie style” replete with battlecrys, missle sound effects & warmongering imagination that turned wooden spoons, a flour sifter & a mixer into weaponry.  Finally finished & the peace treaty celebrated with fresh hot cookies & milk we retired to watch a silly movie together.  It was as special a time as I could ever recall simply because we were laughing uproariously and enjoying a simple task together before snuggling.  At the end of the movie Zech was so wiped out he fell asleep across my lap while I rubbed his head.  The conclusion of the journal entry was proclaiming the obvious…how much I love being this boy’s mother.  By the time the doc came in several minutes later, Zech & I both had tears in our eyes from the reading.  I know from my own experiences that it does not matter how old you get, you never stop tiring of hearing that your mom loves you & is proud of you.  That moment was sweet and meangingful to both of us.

As for the knee , it’s swollen & sore but doc says it’s nothing major, a few days of icing it & he should be fine.  WHEW! 

Leaving the clinic we planned Zech’s birthday breakfast…chocolate chip waffles and canteloup?  Dinner was a quick stop by the deli counter at the grocery market and a cookie eaten in my car on the way home.   And by the time the groceries were put away it was time to pray & get to bed.   Zech looked at me and asked if I wanted to take his picture “one last time before I become a man”????  Why not?  A few goofy faces on the cell phone camera and one really cute one.  Zech says to me “I have something sweet I want to say to you”.  I fell for it thinking he was going to tell me what a great mom I am. He looked at me with a face as serious as a tax audit and uttered one word… “PUDDING.”  Don’t ask me why, but I lost it.  I laughed so hard I had tears rolling down my cheeks.  In truth, I think I was laughing for all the times in the last 13 years this child has brought me joy and I was crying thinking how quickly the years fly by. 

I am so grateful for Zech’s life.  Being a mom is the best part of my day.  Of my life.

I am the Mother of BOYS!

My arms are nearly numb as I write this…a not-so-subtle reminder of the glorious fun I had with my children on this Mother’s Day.  Matthew is 2 months shy of being 21 and Zech will turn 13 in 10 more days.  The past 10 months have been my respite from having a teen in the home before I start all over again.

I told my sons, “The only gift I want this Mother’s Day is the gift of time with my babies.”

Matt came over from his apartment this morning and the three of us went to church together. What an incredible blessing listening to my 6’3” son worshipping & singing “Blessed be the name of the Lord…” and “Almighty God in every way you are above & beyond understanding, if we did not praise the rocks would cry out…”  {I’m amused to interject that Zech later told me the reason he didn’t sing much this morning was because I was singing the “wrong notes”…unaccustomed to the beauty of harmony, my son thought I was singing off-key”!}  I sat between the boys in church and because our row was rather crowded, I felt them both with my elbows on each side. I thanked God for claustrophobia & spiritual bliss at having them both worshipping the Living Lord with me.

After church I talked to my mother on the phone…this day could never pass without grateful acknowledgment of her sacrifices & influence in my life as well as in my own parenting.  While the boys cooked out on the grill, I busied myself making strawberry shortcake.  It was a simple meal with lemonade, laughter and light conversation. .

Soon we were off to tour of Matt’s new place, a whopping 3 miles from home but it means the world to him that he is on his own.  We laughed that his room is cleaner than Zech’s and mine, and his DVD collection is alphabetized!  I’m still trying to figure out how he convinced me to pet Dexter, his albino boa constrictor…slimy creature creeped me out!

So, about the numb arms…I suggested to the boys that we go rock wall climbing together.  I think they perceived they would do the climbing while the adoring mom recorded memories on digital camera. They both seemed surprised when I corrected them… “There will be 3 climbers”. I watched both guys take a turn, seemed simple enough. Matt taught me how to tie knots & to belay while Zech captured the Kodak moments. They coached me through my first climb and I was surprised how quickly I found myself at the top of the wall.  I barely broke a sweat. Later Zech burst my bubble by telling me it was one of the easiest patterns in the building.

We took turns climbing progressively harder layouts until at one point I was convinced I could make it on a really tough climb. Zech armed with the video camera, Matt on belay. In no time I was dangling through the air from a fall and laughing my tail off. I tried to convince Matt to lower me down, “This is too hard, I’m done”. But he would have none of it. He convinced me to try again and so I pushed.

Eventually I got nearly all the way to the top, but my arms were giving out and my legs felt like soup.  “Okay, close enough, I can’t make it…lower me down”. “Nope” came the reply, “you can do this”. I struggled til I thought I would pass out. I complained vehemently. Still Matt would not let me quit. Zech ran out of film on the video camera. I was painfully aware that a host of young people below were all starring at “the old broad”.

I desperately wanted to get down and even more desperately wanted to make it to the top just barely beyond my reach. After several minutes more, engaging in some serious self-trash talk, I eventually stood victorious at the top of the wall!  Zech was so proud of me he snapped a photo on his cell phone to record my accomplishment.

Exhausted from several hours spent there, I craved a good rib house before heading home to put up my feet. I had invited my two “other children” over for dinner but since I heard no reply, I figured they had other plans.  Their message on my cell phone asking, “When is dinner?” prompted a second wind.

I hadn’t spent time with Seth & Lindsey Smith since they came to get his belongings last fall after the World Series {I was his host Mom}.  After promising homemade chicken strips, I had to deliver.

Six pounds of chicken were consumed with no leftovers, while we talked about families & sports , work, health and orthodontics. Funny to watch Seth cringe as Lindsey described her pain from root canal…a 190 pound guy wilting into shudders. Zech regaled us with stories of his first football season. Matt talked about his favorite rock bands. After dinner Lindsey enlisted Seth to help her wash dishes while I cleaned up the rest of the kitchen. Seth shared how his experiences in the World Series paved the way for several opportunities to speak & preach. I loved seeing his face light up as he spoke. Lindsey mentioned that the Lord has been using her to share her faith with other players’ wives, so we chatted about that as Seth coached Zech on the fine art of push-ups.

What a wonderful time of fellowship! Too soon we exchanged goodbye hugs but not before I snapped a few pictures of all my “kids” together.

At the end of this day Matt & I reclined on the sofa sharing our thoughts about relationships & politics & the possibility of a draft. As he spoke, I wondered, “Does he have any idea how proud I am of the man he is becoming?” I’m proud of my boys & I thank God every day that I’m their Mother.

I’m retiring to bed with sore muscles and achy arms but a very full heart. This Mother’s Day I got exactly what I had longed for…time with my babies.

One former beauty contestant’s musings about on-line dating

For a woman seeking a man, E-harmony is a bit like being in the Miss America pageant.  It’s “supposedly” not like the Miss USA or Miss Universe Pageants where the focus is predominantly on her physical beauty—being “hot” in a swimsuit & glamorous in a gown,  able to spout something trendy about world peace & compassion a la “save the children”.  No, E-Harmony claims to be about the total package…brains, beauty, fitness, style, grace, energy, confidence and the ability to articulate intelligently.  And for elevated depth, E-Harmony throws in a spiritual component.

 

The female contestant astutely answers a series of interview-type questions posed by the Judges.  She shares her talents for the entertainment of the masses.  She navigates the runway of Must Haves/Can’t Stands praying she can make it to the Final Round…Open Communication…where if she is poised enough, she might still have a shot at the crown. 

 

Yet in the end when the Judges have made their decision she can’t help but wonder, “Did someone forget to give them the rulebook on how to score points for internal beauty, spiritual maturity, intellect?”  In consolation of loosing again to the prettier (or naughtier) girl she raises her head a little higher, squares her shoulders, & smiles bravely as an outward demonstration of great class while inside she whispers to herself “I knew all along that I didn’t stand a chance of winning.”  She tells herself that it certainly felt special being among the beautiful contestants for a while. 

 

When the lights are dimmed and all the excitement has faded, she turns to go.  If she’s lucky she walks away with all the elements of that “total package” still intact, even if no one else notices.  And if she’s really fortunate, she realizes that she is beautiful—even without the crown.