I wept this morning as I read an article about a young woman selling her virginity to raise money for charity.
Here’s a girl who seems to have a good heart, wanting to raise funds to build houses for homeless in her community. Yet she seems to have bought into the prevailing lie that sex is no big deal, just a physical act.
The irony of this situation is that bids for her virginity top $155,000 so far. Obviously, purity is worth considerably more than most young people have been led to believe. This woman is auctioning off more than just a one night stand. Despite her good intentions of benefiting her community, no amount of money could ever restore what she will be sacrificing if she goes through with this.
In a recent workshop I attended entitled “Designer Sex”, the issue addressed was, “Is Sex Just Physical?” Here are some of the questions we were asked to consider:
~Why is it when a child is sexually abused, that abuse follows them the rest of their life–whether they realize it or not? Why is that betrayal harder to shake off than any other betrayal by an adult?
~Why is rape so much more devastating to a woman than being beaten up?
~Why is it that most men who struggle with sexual addictions often have uninvolved or distant fathers in their past?
~Why is it that promiscuity in most women correlates to an uninvolved or distant father?
~Why is it that if most people talked about their deepest regrets, it would be sexual?
Whether we look to religion, the Bible or simply to human nature for answers to those questions, the conclusion is the same. Sex isn’t just physical. It goes to the deepest part of our soul. All other animals perform the sex act for procreation. Humans are the only creatures who have the emotional ability to engage in sex for the opportunity to know & to be fully known. It’s called intimacy. When something so tender and sacred is stolen from us or we voluntarily give it away merely for physical gratification we risk losing the ability to be intimate. Sex becomes recreational rather than relational and over time we not only lose intimacy, we numb our senses, even become incapable of being tender and vulnerable with another.
Humans were not designed emotionally or psychologically to give our bodies to multiple partners. We were designed to unite with one partner for life. Becoming one is an act where two hearts become so intertwined separating them is impossible. Think scrambled eggs. Exclusivity is a gift that facilitates becoming one. It is not a sacrifice but an investment. Every time we say “No” to random opportunities for sex we are saying “Yes” to the One our hearts long to become one with. When we say “No”, we are in truth saying “Yes” to deeply soul-satisfying intimacy.
Despite what our culture is telling us, Sex isn’t just physical. It is rooted in the deepest level of my being, the level where I long for intimacy…to know and to be fully known.