Screams, Dreams & Stepping Out

My first night at the CAPTIVATING retreat concluded with a surprise “Joy Ride” in a golf cart on Mt. Princeton Trail.  The staffer {who specifically requested I not thank him publically by name} took me to a remote location with no artificial light, killed the little engine to the golf cart and told me “Look up, enjoy the diamonds in the night sky.” 

It would take me a few more days to understand the significance of his risk in lingering there, making sure I got the message the Designer of those twinkling jewels wanted me to grasp.   There in pitch darkness countless stars glistened like diamonds across black velvet.  It was breath-taking. 

The next morning, I woke feeling even more committed to lethargy and anonimity within a sea of female faces.  My bunk shared a wall with bathroom toilets on the other side, flushing all throughout the night. Consequently, I managed only two hours of sleep.  So much for ear plugs & Benadryl! {Where did I put that pistol??}

If anyone had told me that morning I’d willingly step off a 45 foot platform hooked up to a giant bungee with two other women, I would have asked them what they were smoking.  Up until that moment, I rather enjoyed my reputation as an “indoor girl”. 

{click on photos to enlarge} 

There’s a reason this is called “The Screamer”!  Scream, indeed.  I missed the seat and held on instead to the pole in front of me.  

 By Saturday, the thrill junkie in me had signed up to climb a 14er and rappell down a 150 foot cliff.  I’m not sure I would have been so eager had I known in advance the charming trail disappeared 1/3 of the way up and I would have to pull myself  by rope up a rocky, steep climb to the top.  {Note the fray in one of the photos below!}  And I’m positive I wouldn’t have paid money for this adventure had I considered the possibility my body would be slammed into a jagged mountain, bruising myself like a week-old banana & fracturing a rib.  Ignorance truly is bliss. 

So why was I engaging in such madness?  I’m not really sure.  I think it had something to do with a whisper in my spirit reminding me that life is worth living…to the fullest…even when my heart is breaking and even when I’m sleep deprived. 

I had a sense that the extreme adrenaline rushes were a physical representation of what God was about to do in me spiritually.  Like drinking from a fire hose, my thirsty spirit was overwhelmed with all God orchestrated for me in the CAPTIVATING retreat.