I stood on the shore at this Isle of Palms today with hands raised to heaven, a symbol of my desperation for Christ to come & fill me up. And I lowered my hands, palms down in confession and recognition that I have nothing to contribute to this equation. It is in these quiet moments that I have worshipped Him with abandon and the Spirit of the Living God has fallen on me.
Though most of my time on the beach has been alone with the Lord, each time I come God grants me daily divine appointments with others in need of prayer & encouragement. I offered to take photos of people walking along the beach and as we engaged in conversation, I shared with them that I am here to seek the Lord and pray. And every time I’ve asked if I may pray for them, total strangers poured out unimaginable personal struggles and tragedies before allowing me to lay a hand on their shoulder or place my hand in theirs and bow our heads together. What a precious gift! My burdens were lifted, my cares forgotten as I stood petitioning the heart of God on their behalf.
These divine encounters where I was able to pray for others make it all the more precious that today the Father sent two sweet Christian ladies to pray for me. I attended worship this morning at a dynamic, spirit-filled church in Mt. Pleasant, SC…no small coincidence that two sermons preached by two different pastors in the morning services were both on enjoying life and living to the fullest. Following the second service, worshipers were invited to come forward for prayer and I felt prompted to do so. I hadn’t planned on sharing much about my present physical condition, just an ambiguous request for strength in my body. But Maura & Mimi wanted to know specific needs to approach the throne of God with. I muttered something about two masses in my ovary and the tests that await me when I return home in a few days. As both women began to pray, the pain that I had felt for days began to subside. Maura prayed for wisdom for the physicians and for a good report. And then it was as if a light came on in Mimi’s heart. She began to share that God had just given her a vision about my reproductive organs…that “even though you will not bear children any longer through this body, God wants you to know that you will bear much fruit in Him. This present condition is an attack from the enemy to distract you from sowing in the Kingdom but it will fail. God is in control and He is going to get the glory in this…you are going to reproduce much in the family of God.” Maura began to pray again in agreement, confirming the vision… “even if you have to go through surgery or chemo or other treatment, this is not the end for you…God is going to use this situation in your body to bring glory to Himself…you are going to continue to bear much fruit for the Kingdom”. We prayed and I wept as I sensed the power of the Holy Spirit coursing through my body. It was so unexpected. All week I have set aside the pain and concerns over my medical condition in favor of hearing from the Lord regarding the deeper needs of my soul. How precious that on this last full day here, the Lord let me know He has not forgotten the burden that first accompanied me to Breakfast on the Beach.
Isle of Palms & 51st became my place of commitment to cease striving…not just about the health issue but other things as well, most notably the longings of my heart to find the man of God that I can share my life with and serve in the Kingdom beside. I have long ago come to embrace Christ as my husband and I know that I am complete in Him. Still He knows the ache in my heart to share all this love with a man who is truly following the way of the Cross. There have been opportunities for me to marry but each time I walked away because they were not God’s man for me. Today I reaffirmed aloud, “I will wait, I will wait…for YOUR man God…I will wait” and once again I declared my trust in Him to order my life according to His purposes.
Walking back up the beach I noticed several almost identical shells of various sizes. As I picked up one after another, I discovered that they fit one inside the next as if they had been crafted to go together. I pictured God holding my future mate, holding me, holding our children. One shell after another slid into place as the Lord seemed to be acknowledging my longings and confirming in my heart that one day He will make it all fit together…
“Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere…the Lord is a battlement and a shield; grace and honor are his to give. The Lord will hold back no good thing from those who walk uprightly. Oh Lord of hosts, happy is the man who trusts in thee.” Psalm 84:10-12