Waiting…again

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord…

Stillness does not come easy for me.  I find myself in another season of waiting, this time for a phone call from my physician. My mind is full of jumbled thoughts.  In the grips of apprehension escape to find time alone with the Lord becomes a priority.

Less than a quarter mile north of Roosevelt National Forest on Hwy 34 E lies a piece of real estate heaven called Dripping Springs Inn.  Without question the entire Estes Park, CO, area is extraordinarily scenic.  Yet something about this particular mountain retreat calls my heart to return again and again when solitude is beckoning. 

Dripping Springs is a quaint collection of small cottages and a B & B snuggled up to the Big Thompson River. Arriving  at the break of dawn, this place is as sleepy as I am. 

I’ve been coming here for years and it has never appeared more inviting.  Only a few short steps down a concrete stairway and I am immersed in woods.  A small walking trail outlined by rocks on each side follows the river.

Fire pits encircled by outdoor chairs dot the landscape and my mind’s eye envisions last night’s guests warming themselves in the cool mountain evening as they swapped life stories.  Small canopies will partner with ample aspen and prolific pine trees to offer shade in the afternoon.  Further on down the trail a wheel barrow rests against an old shed. 

 

Backing up to the river, a wooden platform with its tall, white wrought iron arch conjures up images of a blissful bride and groom exchanging vows.  

At last my eyes land on my favorite spot in this idyllic hideaway…an oversized hammock dangling between two aspen.  Over the years God has cradled me here as I penned numerous private thoughts, praying countless prayers for wisdom on various issues confounding my senses.  Here, too Scripture has often come alive for me as I incline my ear to hear from the Lord.

I sprawl into the swaying paradise and begin to sing praises in competition with raucous waves .  The Thompson is raging with waters higher than I have observed in 20 years.  As the river races furiously downstream, mud and silt paint the surface a copper hue crowned with white foam.  Swirling, crashing into boulders at a frantic pace, water bounces into the air and explodes like liquid fireworks.  The sight brought laughter and feeble attempts to photograph the elusive spray.

I wondered audibly, “God, why is wisdom so often this elusive to me?”  In the midst of the river’s thunderous roar I heard His silent reply, “Wisdom danced with me before waves were ever formed, before the foundations of earth were laid.  Wisdom is mine to give and it’s plentiful but it is not for those who utter a casual request.  Wisdom belongs to those who earnestly seek me.”

Recently I spoke to a group of single women about the necessity of waiting on God.  Today I groan over how long I’ve gone without a purposeful retreat alone with my Lord, to quietly wait on Him, seek Him, and hear from Him. 

The morning sun peeks down the canyon walls and smiles on my face as I read God’s Word,   

“You make me glad by your deeds, oh Lord.  I sing for joy at the work of your hands.” Psalm 92:4

 “Let the rivers clap their hands, let the mountains sing together for JOY” Psalm 98:8

“Praise the Lord, O my soul, all my inmost being praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul and forget not his benefits.  Who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” Psalm 103:1-5 

Reaching into a folder for paper to jot down my thoughts I came across notes from my earlier talk to the singles… “my two least favorite words paired together? ‘Waiting patiently’.  I’m not good at it, never have been.”

Jesus beckons me to wait on God.  All through his earthly journey He exemplified the importance of withdrawing for time alone with the Father.  Christ’s final act of obedience before his arrest leading to his crucifixion involved a time of waiting in the Garden.  Friends had accompanied him but ultimately He waited alone while they slumbered.  It was in the waiting, seeking, praying, that He mounted up strength to face his destiny at Calvary.  To have approached the Cross without a time of waiting before God, would have meant to forgo the strength required to endure eminent suffering.

Christ’s example compels me.  His invitation is not to be missed.  He says, “Come to the Garden of waiting and find strength for whatever lies ahead.”

None of us know what tomorrow holds.  If we have been a follower of Christ for any length of time we know that this path we walk is not always smooth.  Yet in moments alone with Him, earnestly seeking, expectantly waiting, Christ re-emerges as the sole longing of our hearts.  In the process, He speaks and our path supernaturally becomes level again.

“The path of the righteous is level. O upright one, you make the way of the righteous smooth.  Yes Lord, walking in your ways, we wait for you.  Your name and renown are the desires of our hearts.  My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you.” Isaiah 26:8-9

Breakfast on the Beach: Time for ‘seconds’

Colorado winter 

Was it the voice of the Lord, or merely my weariness of cold toes, that beckoned me to flee the frosty Colorado fortress this week?  Regardless, my soul cried out for yet another Breakfast on the Beach experience with my Jesus.  Gladly, I answered the call to meet Him on the shores of San Clemente.   It is always my delight to bask in the presence of the Lord.  My hungry heart is nourished once again.  His Word is washing over me as surely as the cool Southern California waves lap at my feet.  His unfailing love pours over me as the sun drenches me in bright beams all around.

 

Silence is broken only by steady rhythm of crashing waves and a repeating refrain of seagulls singing while dancing just above the waters.  It is God’s music to me in this moment and I picture Him dancing over me with JOY.  I am His Beloved.  He is passionate for me and He is calling me to dance with Him.  I rise to my feet, toes sinking into the sun baked sand.  We spin and sway to the melodic movement of the ocean’s song.  It is sublime.   seagulls

 

As glorious as this precious moment is, I am suddenly struck with the reality of what it means to pray without ceasing, to praise in ALL things.  Quietly, I begin to confess,

 

I do not need the ocean to begin to praise You, Lord.

I do not need a beach to come and dine.

I don’t require sunshine to rejoice in You.

I dare not wait to feel sand beneath my feet before we dance.

I am created for worship, no matter where I am or what’s happening in my life.

I am created for worship and YOU alone are worthy.

 

“Where shall I go from thy Spirit? Or where shall I flee from thy presence?…If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, YOU are there…” Psm 139: 7 & 9

His unfailing love envelopes me in all places.  His presence never leaves me.  In the blistery cold of Colorado.  In the radiant beams of the California sunshine.  In the stuffy small aircraft floating above the firmament between the two, God is WITH ME.  He is Immanuel, “God with us”.

 

It’s easy to feel Him with me in the sunshine.  Certainly He is here on the beach.  But also he is near in the darkness, in the quiet, in the shadows.  In the busy places…the airports, the office, the laundry room…God is near.  On the go…in traffic, on the runway, in the subway…God is near.  In the uncertainty of a doctor’s office or the unemployment line, God is with me.  In the stillness of a prayer closet, He is there.  Ever present, He never leaves me.

 

 For years I have read the Scripture, “Be still and know that I am God.”  Psm. 46:10 It’s been the very reason I make it a regular practice to get away for personal retreats alone with my Lord…so I can be still.  Somehow in my mind I conjured up this image that by coming away to time alone with Jesus, He will find me and begin to speak.  But that is a false image made obvious to me as I meditate on the next verse… “The Lord of hosts is with us,” {46:11}.  Jesus does not need to find me because He never leaves me…the Lord of Hosts is with me!  And He never stops speaking.  It is I who must be still long enough to realize that He is speaking, to listen to what He is saying.  And it is in the listening that I learn anew what His purpose is for my life…

 

He is calling me to an awareness of His Holy presence that I, being mindful of His constancy, may worship him wherever life finds me. 

 

“Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised; he is also to be feared among all gods.  Glory and honor are in his presence, strength and gladness are in his place…give unto the Lord the glory due his name.  Bring an offering and come before him.  Worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness.”  I Chronicles 16: 25, 27, 29

 

I am a musical instrument to be played in the presence of the Most Holy God, where music and dancing never cease.  To worship Him is the answer to the age old question “why am I here?”  It is the essence of who I am.

 

I am a worshipper.                        San Diego pier