Seeking God in Storms

In an excruciatingly painful season for Jesus, He desperately needed time to Himself, space to grieve.
 
Reading in Matthew 14…Jesus sought to seclude Himself on a boat immediately following the murder of His dear friend & cousin John the Baptist.  His efforts thwarted by crowds from nearby towns, thousands with needs & expectations swarmed the shore crying out to Him.  Despite His own personal agony Christ’s compassionate heart compelled Him to spend the day teaching, healing and serving the masses.  By nightfall, He and the disciples gathered up 12 baskets of leftovers from feeding thousands.  The day expended, the disciples departed at His request and Jesus finally seized time alone to pray. 
 
Can you picture this?  Jesus, completely exhausted after a lengthy day of meeting others’ needs, withdrew to a hillside for time alone with God.  Far into the night He sat at the feet of Abba, poured out His heart, pressed in to hear from the Father, drank from the cup of God’s hand, laid back against Him to rest, listened to God’s heartbeat.  He tarried there for hours drawing strength, renewing His peace. Matthew 14:25 indicates between 3-6 a.m. Jesus returned to His disciples and found them in a boat battling strong winds and choppy waves.  In the midst of a horrendous squall Christ calmly walked across the water. 
 
The Lord’s day began with an emotional whirlwind of His loved one’s death and ended with a fitful tempest at sea.  Yet between the two storms, Christ intentionally accessed all He needed to not only endure but to bless others.  He pushed the pause button on His life’s demands to seek Jehovah Shalom…the God of Peace…and because of this He walked in confidence, in strength and in complete peace even in the midst of atrocious upheaval. 
 
The storms of life are torrential at times.  Loved ones battle cancer, finances dwindle due to lengthy unemployment, children rebel, spouses betray, depression demolishes the will to go on, sickness and pain ravage bodies, violence devastates women & children, drunken drivers end innocent lives, soldiers come home missing limbs or in body bags.  Storms rage all around us.  In those moments of utter despair when we feel we can’t go another step, God whispers to us,
 
“Come away with me to a quiet place and rest awhile.” Mark 6:31
 
Even in His own time of profound sorrow Jesus was aware of the suffering of others around Him.  He showed great compassion for them, serving them not out of duty but from the recesses of His heart.  After meeting the demands pressing in from every direction He renewed His strength by stealing away to a quiet place to rest a while in the arms of the Father.  His was not a passive few moments of small talk with God but a prolonged outpouring of His heart and an expectation that He would hear from God and be renewed.  Rather than becoming overwhelmed by His circumstances, Christ was overwhelmed by the love God lavished on Him in those moments of seeking.
 
In my quest to become more like Christ, I pray I’m mindful that time to care for others is a gift.  I pray for compassion to serve them from the depths of my heart even as I am grieving my own painful circumstances.  Matthew 14 reminds me the key is intentionally spending soul-satisfying time alone with my Father, to cast all my cares on Him, listen expectantly for His voice and drink from the cup of His hand just as Jesus did, overwhelmed by His love, bathed in grace and peace.  In seeking Him I am able to stand even in the midst of the most harrowing storms.

 “And you shall find me when you search for me with all your heart…”  Jeremiah 29:13

How to Turn a Test-Drive into a Lifetime Purchase: A Married Guy’s Perspective

My friend Andy left this in the comment section of a previous blog but I am taking the liberty of moving him into another guest blog.  This is sooooo out of character for me…headlining 2 back-to-back non-writers but Andy’s subject line and his personal transparency drew me in.  If for no other reason I am giving him a guest blog simply because he has been married 30 years and I hope to encourage others that it IS possible to devote a lifetime to a “single purchase”.

What a great blog topic….I sure don’t envy what a single person goes through in this day and age to try to find a life partner — it is tough going out there! I read both blogs and all the comments from each side and I empathize with you all on today’s version of ‘The Dating Game’ and feel compelled to share a little bit with the hope that you may benefit. I don’t profess to be a martial expert, just one lucky guy that found a fantastic woman and partner and didn’t mess it up in the early stages of our relationship.

Without sounding like I’m preaching Dating 101, I highly suggest that the early stages of dating should be treated simply as a chance to get to know someone and determine if their personality is something that you find attractive. It is true that the first thing we are all drawn to is how someone looks. Not just beauty, it is the way they carry themselves, their mannerisms, the way they talk, their being. When I met Joanne I could immediately see HIM(Jesus) in my wife, pretty much from the moment we met. I saw her from across the room and there was just something about her that I wanted to get to know. Yes, she was good looking….yes, I found her sexually attractive and had those feelings, but neither of us will ever get accused of being a 10 or even maybe even a 9. I think you all know what I mean. She just had something else going for her besides looks. We hit it off pretty quickly and even though our first date ended kind of awkwardly, we made it past what I like to call the “Polite Stage” of a relationship and beyond.

I think until you see a person at a time when they feel like they are at their worst, you always stay in the ‘Polite Stage’. I remember when that was for my wife and I have never forgotten. She was upset about an argument we had and looked a mess, but I was concerned with her welfare and not with her looks. Her college roommate was a smoker and I noticed a 1/2 smoked cigarette in the ashtray and knew that she had smoked it. Anyone that knows me knows that I think that kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray, yet I could see the pain in her eyes and remember the harsh words we had exchanged and I just had to console her. I remember kissing her and her breath was the worst, but none of that mattered because I knew that she needed the kiss and a hug and I was happy to give it to her to take away some of her suffering.

I am convinced that there is a “wall” that a couples hit at about the 1 and 1/2 year mark of a relationship where things either get serious or the couple breaks up. I hate to see people that are dating get married before they have known each other for at least 2 years. Believe me, 2 years is nothing. It goes by quick. My wife and I dated for 5 years before we got married. (We got engaged our junior year in college and married a couple of years later after we both had graduated.) I’m glad we took that time.

Now here is the neat thing and I have heard this before from couples that have been married much longer than we have. A day hasn’t gone by that I look at my wife and I still see THE SAME WOMAN I SAW THE VERY FIRST TIME WE MET!!! I know this sounds odd, but it has been 30+ years since we met and my mind still sees her the same way I saw her when she was 19. It is kind of like the thing where you still feel like you are 21 inside your head, even though your body is 50+ and you passed that point in your life many moons ago. I can’t explain it, it is just so.

Keep these things in mind:
1. Don’t force it – the relationship will grow or it won’t.
2. Love one another and worry more about what you can do for your partner and less about what you think your partner should do for you and that simple act of love will create an environment for a LOVING partner to WANT to do more for you. The partnership is never 50/50. If you feel like your partner isn’t doing enough for you, it is a sign that you need to do more yourself……the enemy (Satan) knows we all have a short time on earth and he is delighted when he can get us to waste our time (fighting, fussing, and score keeping)
3. My wife and I have come to recognize that part of our success stems from the fact that we have had more blessings from God than the average couple. Without those blessings it is very likely that we may have not made it to year 27. Sometimes bad things happen to people in a relationship and the relationship or marriage doesn’t survive……..there is no perfect model here, only two people that trust and love God, Christ our Saviour, and each other.
4. My wife says, “there is a lid for every pot,” which serves as hope for us all. Trust in God, know that he loves you and wants great things for you. Love one another as Christ teaches us to do and everything will come in time.

Peace and Blessings to you all!!!!

There’s Gonna Be a Wedding!

Attending a 4 day conference focusing almost entirely on romance was a shock to my system.  Like drinking water from a fire hose…that’s how I describe my experiences and emotions in the CAPTIVATING retreat.   

I know enough about God to unequivocally profess His love for me even in painful circumstances where I completely lack understanding.   I don’t doubt God or His presence as he carried me through some of the most excruciating journeys a human being could ever experience.  God’s love has never been in question for me.   Frankly, my doubts centered in the value of romantic love.  Pain from human relationships abated my desire for romance. 

My mindset venturing into the CAPTIVATING retreat dissuaded me.  ‘Romance feels too much like chasing a fantasy.’  It felt that way because that’s how it presents for most of us, a very elusive dream.  I raised the white flag, surrendering to the conclusion my desires for romance must be taken captive and imprisoned.

I reasoned love can take many forms.  I love Christ and He has given me compassion & a heart to serve His daughters.  I could devote my life continuing to serve in women’s ministries and find deep fulfillment therein.  Too, I have many meaningful platonic friendships with men.  I convinced myself that is enough, I can live without romance.  Mine was a noble and practical pursuit.  Love God, serve His children, be a good friend, forgo silly romantic notions.

But there stood Stasi Eldredge systematically…and Biblically…unraveling my commitment to live a life without romance.  Her words pierced me to the core.  “You were created for romance.  In fact, your deepest desires… to be pursued, fought for, cherished above all others…are where you bear the image of God.”   

My deepest desires are where I bear the image of God?  God desires romance?  What a foreign concept.

All my life I’ve heard and believed God loves me.  While a stretch for some people to grasp, it isn’t for me.  I have experienced the love of God much as I felt the love of my Daddy when I was a child.  I embrace the concept of Abba/Daddy, crawling up on his lap, pouring out my heart to Him and listening for His wise counsel.   I cherish my times alone with Abba.  I treasure Scriptures declaring my standing as a child of God.

The message of CAPTIVATING pulled me in a completely different direction.  This speaker challenged me to believe God loves me with a deep romantic love.  She even invoked Scriptures to back it up, ones I’d heard many times about being created in God’s image and God giving me the desires of my heart, i.e., putting desires into my heart.  {Genesis 1:27; Psalm 37:4}

For as long as I can remember I declined putting too much emphasis on romance.  I’m too practical to believe “Love conquers all.”  I know first-hand how much work relationships take and even then, heartache and pain always factor into the equation.

To expect any man to provide a font of endless romance is unrealistic and unfair to men.   For that very reason, I purposefully renounced chick flicks years ago.  All those Hollywood scenes of impure fantasy stirred up longings impossible for a mere mortal to fulfill.

 If I wasn’t in a relationship with a man, watching Jack & Rose in Titanic created longings for something out of reach.  Ensuing dissatisfaction disgruntled me and my prayer life became one on-going gripe session…  “God, when are you going to bring me a nice man?  Don’t you realize how long I’ve waited?  Do you care that I am bearing all life’s burdens alone or that I have no one to share life’s Joys with?”  

If I was in a relationship, scenes from The Notebook rendered me frustrated.  My man didn’t devote every ounce of his being to me like Noah did for his beloved Allie.  Guess who I took that frustration out on??

I can’t adequately articulate the significance of the moment God’s romance candle first flickered inside my heart.  I realized if my heart bears the image of God’s heart, it must be true…He too, longs for romance as much or more than I do.  AND if GOD is the One who put the desire for romance in my heart, He would never give a desire which endlessly frustrates me or offers no possibility of being fulfilled.  Only a cruel God would do such a thing.  I have walked with the Lord long enough to know He could never be cruel. 

The missing link…

In the course of the CAPTIVATING retreat I felt the Holy Spirit telling me my desires are not wrong but where I go to with those desires continually causes me pain and grief.  How many times have I taken my longings to a false lover?  All the years following the dissolution of my marriage, I carried secret pride in managing to remain pure in my body.  Yet purity of heart escaped me.  I peddled my hungering for love and acceptance, my longings to be delighted in, to men who could never meet those deep desires of my soul. 

For days the speaker communicated romance was God’s idea.  All things I consider romantic…flowers, moonlight, sweet fragrances, soft music, a gentle kiss, the sound of ocean waves or a waterfall, the sight of twinkling stars…those were created by God.  Romance was not only God’s idea, it is His constant gift all around me! 

For years my Lord patiently waited, wooing me while I embraced a fantasy.  He pursued me with fields of wild flowers, love songs of birds outside my window greeting my mornings, romantic whispers of ocean waves, moonlight and gentle rain to caress my skin, breezes to tenderly kiss my face, aspen leaves wildly applauding my presence, glorious sunsets across a breath-taking mountainous landscape and diamonds in the night sky beckoning me to choose one for my engagement ring from the Creator of the universe!

 In all of creation, God continually shouts, “I LOVE YOU! YOU HAVE CAPTIVATED MY HEART!”

In designing me in His image, He crafted a heart longing to be romanced, pursued, fought for and cherished. He created me with desires for deep intimacy. He would not gift me intense desires without a means to fulfill them.  Jesus Christ was…and is…that fulfillment.  He is not only the Author of my love story, He is the Hero.  God is a Hopeless Romantic.   Even more amazing, He DESIRES ME.  He is the Lover of my Soul.  

Though precious the title “child of God”, my Creator did not stop there.  In a mystery unexplainable in human words, God declares I am His BELOVED BRIDE. 

“You shall be called by a new name which the Lord shall pronounce with His own lips.  You will be a glorious crown in the Lord’s hands.” ~ Isaiah 62:2

“The Lord has acknowledged you as wife, once deserted and heart-broken, Your God Has Called You BRIDE…” ~Isaiah 54:6

“Let me rejoice in the Lord with all my heart…He has robed me in salvation as a garment and clothed me in integrity as a cloak…like a BRIDE decked in her jewels…” ~Isaiah 61: 10

“For as a young man weds a maiden, so shall you wed Him who rebuilds you and your God shall rejoice over you as a bridegroom rejoices over his Bride.” ~Isaiah 62:5

In the words of Tim Reimherr in his song, More Than Ashes, “There’s gonna be a wedding.  It’s the reason I am living, to marry the Lamb…”

additional info/recommended reading/listening http://www.crazylovebook.com/videos_chapter.html